United Bank & Trust Blog

Joe Williams

Over 43% of all married couples argue over money issues, making it one of the major reasons couples fight. I think it is very important for people planning on getting married to do several things:

1. Don’t have secrets – I am absolutely amazed by the high percentages of couples who don’t discuss their finances or credit before walking down the aisle. A successful marriage is one that starts on a solid foundation. I really encourage full disclosure by both individuals.
2. Decide on Joint or Individual Accounts – Best practices that I have seen are when couples choose a system that incorporates both a joint account for household expenses and individual accounts for personal expenses and former debts. There are advantages and disadvantages, but the key is to decide together how the finances are going to be handled.
3. Set Financial Goals Together – Set specific financial goals that you would like to achieve. This could include retirement, building an emergency fund, getting out of debt, and purchasing a home. It is very important that the two of you create a strategy and a timeline so that you can realistically achieve these goals in a timely manner.
4. Create a Budget – Most people are afraid of creating a budget because it creates accountability.  A budget does not have to be “cast in stone”, but should be a spending road map or guideline. I have found that those couples who create a spending plan are considerably more likely to meet and achieve their financial goals. I would encourage sitting down together on regular basis to review your spending plan. These are checkpoints that allow each of you to see if you are doing ok or if you need to make adjustments.
5. Most Important – COMMUNICATION – COMMUNICATION – Effective Communication often emerges as the most difficult obstacle to establishing goals and expectations, and developing a financial plan. Most people have been taught since childhood that discussing money is somehow inappropriate. This is so wrong. Couples must understand that it is not only appropriate but absolutely necessary to managing finances in a marriage. You must communicate in spite of any difficulty.

I believe “Managing Money” is one of the most challenging things for individuals and Couples. Most couples learn it from their parents, who learned it from their parents and the cycle goes on. Before I start working with a couple or teaching a class I tell them “I don’t know anything about you, but if you let me look at your checkbook I can tell you what your priorities are and if you are headed for financial disaster”. This is very frightening to people and it should not be.

There is a great deal of resources for couples who need or want help. However, often times they don’t want to take the time, or only one person from the couple feels that it is important, or they just don’t know where to go. Look for a financial planner, talk to your bank, look for a church that teaches financial classes or find an organization that supports Marriages.